Stuff Lesbians and I Like

In my attempts at late night amusement, I turned to  Grace The Spot and their list of “Stuff Lesbians Like.” I like stuff. Apparently lesbians like the same stuff. Surprise!

  • 1) Graduate school– This, right here, is my life, complete with bold accents to show you just how true it is: “Lesbians love books. In fact they love books so much that they are willing to pay six figures to read esoteric texts that expand the mind while destroying their credit score and employment prospects. They gravitate to text-heavy degrees such as Women’s Studies, Queer Studies, literature and philosophy (collectively known as “Lesbian Meat Market 101″), which prepare them for (1) conversing in a bizarre language that only other lesbians who have taken the same classes can understand and (2) unemployment. So what is a lesbian bookworm supposed to do when she is in her fourth year of college, and she realizes that her years of studying radical feminism have given her no practical skills to survive in the real world and that her employment prospects are limited to answering phones, flipping burgers, espresso-making and, paradoxically, stripping? She applies to grad school! […] Would you like a Masters in Gender Studies (”Lesbian Meat Market 201″) with those fries? How about a PhD in Sexuality Studies (”Lesbian Meat Market 301″) with that shake?”
  • 7) Mourning dead or otherwise departed L Word characters– Oh Carmen, how I miss thee!
  • 8 ) Craig’s List– As Grace Chu puts it, “Lesbians like to read the “women seeking women” section of Craig’s List – but not for dating purposes. Very few actual lesbians post on the W4W section of Craig’s List to find a date.” I am only slight ashamed to admit that I was reading the W4W section this very morning, just to see what nonsense would show up.
  • 19) Being friends with their exes– I like being friends with my exes. In fact, I am friends with all of them. Indeed, I’m friends with everyone I’ve ever been involved with, with the exception of someone we will refer to as “I Swear She’s Straight.” And once again, Chu nails exactly what this means, “For lesbians, “Let’s be friends” means, “I want the drama of a bad relationship without the sex.” Why do we do this to ourselves? I don’t know.
  • 23) Brain games– Scrabble, yes! Sudoku, yes! Crossword puzzles, yes! Trivial pursuit, yes! Half of those in the last 24 hours, yes again!
  • 25) Tongues– Me gusta hablar otros idiomas. Ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch.
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