Feminist Thought, Queer Thought, and Whatever Other Thought

I’ve been feeling all sorts of feminine lately.

I want to grow my hair out again. I love how cute and easy it is at this length, but when I look at pictures of me, at seventeen, with curls down to the middle of my back, I miss it. It was really pretty when I cared to manage it.

I want to dress cute. I want to wear skirts. I want to wear necklaces. I want funky belts and colorful shoes. I want to have adorable outfits a la fit for a femme and the women of academichic. I want to look fucking adorable (and I’d like to do so without people questioning my queerness).

Why this sudden urge? I have a couple of theories.

One, I am less than happy with my body these days for a few reasons (including but not limited to injuries, heat, demotivation, and lack of money). If I don’t think I’m attractive on my own, perhaps some adorable clothing and a touch of mascara will help.

Two, I have a girlfriend. Now this will sounds stupid, but I often avoid dressing “too girly,” because then everyone reads me as straight. I’m not single, and I’m not looking, so it doesn’t matter if everyone thinks I’m straight. And when I’m with Linds, and she’s looking all tough and butch, everyone assumes we’re a pair of dykes anyways. She also tells me how beautiful she thinks I am and all the parts of my body she loves. With someone offering such positive reinforcement, I feel like showing it all off, short dresses and all.

And that is all I have to say about this. Just sharing what I’m feeling at the moment for no particular reason, other than that I feel like sharing.